My fortune cookie

Coincidence?…………

 

Trifles

Forcing others to sit through excessive PDA  (e.g. neck nuzzling, lip smacking, spit swapping, giggles & whispers, practically sitting on top of each other) is bad enough. Doing so during a meal out with friends is just RUDE.

I still managed to amazed by the obsession with female hairlessness. Sure, some of it is practical (hairy underarms stink more, that’s just a fact) but I don’t get why unshaven legs make a woman manly or unattractive.

Halfway through leftovers I get a mental block about eating them. And very occasionally I will let them sit in the back of the fridge for weeks just so I don’t feel guilty about tossing them. #firstworldproblems

I’m looking forward to being a pampered wife. Doing it all on your own is much too hard to keep up for a lifetime.

One day I will figure out how to make money and work from home at least half the time.

Favorite new fall shows–Once Upon a Time, and Ringer. I thought OUaT was going to be really lame and kiddie, but they do such a good job creating the atmosphere of the show that I can happily suspend my disbelief for an hour. Sarah Michelle Gellar does a fantastic job in Ringer. The plot pacing, dialogue and character development are really fantastic. Of the three shows, this is the one I most hope doesn’t get canceled!

Healthy living is hard work. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day to sleep well, do all my schoolwork thoroughly, maintain my relationship, cook, exercise, and have enough downtime to feel sane. On any given day 2-3 of those items fall by the wayside.

I have an awesome idea for a nonprofit organization, but I don’t know if I’ll have the experience and clout to get it off the ground straight out of law school.

I’ve given in to my cold weather addiction to tea. Green tea is my old standby–it’s milder than black so you can taste the fruit infusions better when you buy the flavored kind, plus it boosts metabolism! But I bough some Vanilla Caramel Truffle black tea at the store this week and it’s A-MA-ZING.

I don’t speak weave (body wave, wet & wavy, remy, wtf?) but I know just enough Starbucks to get by.

I may have a newly developed nut allergy, but as long as I don’t have to give up seafood/shellfish I’ll make it. Eff a peanut, I need my shrimp!

According to my legal writing teacher, I have a great sense of narrative and storytelling. Coincidentally, I just started experimenting with fiction again so maybe I will write that novel one day.

I’m stupid in love with Tex and I can’t wait for us to start our lives together. Even without being married yet, wakig up next to him every day would improve my life 1000%.

 

 

 

 

Theme Songs

I need all the hype I can get going into finals, and I’m guessing my fellow students do too. So here’s a list of the tunes that remind me I run this when I feel like burning all my textbooks. A/V included for the top six so you can bask in the awesomeness.

Dr. Feel Good, Travie McCoy. Sometimes you just need to vent all that studying induced angst, and this track turns that emotion into sweet, sweet music. “Doctor, won’t you please just help me take this pain away?”

Out Here Grindin, DJ Khaled ft. Akon, Webbie, Rick Ross, Plies, etc. It’s hard not to get pumped with Khaled screaming “WE THE BEST!” at every possible moment. This is to me what “Eye of the Tiger” was to Rocky, lol. (I confess that I never watched the video prior to posting it here and it’s godawful…it’s still one of my anthems though.)

Work to Do, the Isley Brothers. This is just a classic, and the lyrics apply to everyone. Whether you’re a student, an entrepreneur, or established in your career you’ve got to get off your butt and get to work!

I Look Good, Chalie Boy. This is not really conducive to studying as it makes me want to stand up and hit my dougie. But it does remind me not to surrender my fresh to the rigors of exam time. Just because I’m under pressure and frustrated is no reason to surrender my fresh. Better to be fly and stressed out than just stressed out, right?

The One- Earth, Wind & Fire. EWF is always good for an inspirational tune, and this one always puts a smile on my face.

Already Home, Jay-Z. “If y’all can’t already see, I ain’t worried bout y’all cuz I’m already me…” Great to listen to when your classmates are trying to psych you out with talk of their 150 page homemade outlines. Hmph.

The rest of my playlist includes, but isn’t limited to:

Spaceship, Kanye West. Another venting type of song. Sometimes misery needs company, especially when my feelings of tokenism get to be a bit much.

My President, Young Jeezy. Hip-hop and Obama references? I’ll take it. Besides, the beat rides so hard!

It’s Been a Pleasure, Drake. I used to hate Drake but his montone rapping/singing hybrid is good for getting into a study zone. This song makes me think of that elusive day when law school is over, I’ve passed the bar and I can get on with my life.

Show Goes On, Lupe Fiasco. The world will keep on turning even if I don’t make all As. Lupe reminds me to keep calm and carry on.

Mama Told Me, Wale. “Mama told me it’d be days like this, but I ain’t never ever thought it’d be a day like this!” You and me both, dude. Usually I bump this on the days when I feel like I’m going to fail out of law school.

Stronger, Kanye West. “Th-th-th-that that don’t kill me, can only make me stronger. I need you to hurry up now, cuz I can’t wait much longer. I know I got to be right now, cuz I can’t get much wronger…” This whole song is a quotable and the Daft Punk sample is hot fire.

Highs N Lows,  Kid Cudi. This is a song I use to snap myself out of a funk. It’s a reminder that this, too, shall pass.

 

Football? Really?

So it’s football season again, and I’ll be glad when it’s over. For the next few months my Facebook and Twitter feeds will be flooded with cheers, jeers and heated debates. Already I’ve noticed that all the guys in my classes spend their free time conversing on the subject. Worst of all, the big games interrupt my favorite tv shows. BO-RING!

I don’t how my utter apathy towards football occurred. I was born and raised in the deep South, all my guy friends in high school played football, I went to a Division I college and my alma mater even won the ACC championship last year. But my dad was never really into sports. He rooted for the home team and caught the game if he had time, but I guess between juggling two jobs, a wife and three kids he didn’t have much energy leftover for robust fandom. My grandfather used to play in the Negro leagues so he’s strictly a baseball man. My brother is into soccer, my mom likes Nascar and my sister only learned the rules of football so she’d have a talking point with cute guys.

Lest y’all think I’m a complete heathen, I’ll let it be known that I’ve gone from actively disliking football to merely tolerating it. I can’t wait until homecoming this year, albeit for  purely for social reasons (it’ll be my first homecoming as an alumna!).

I’m a cool chick about a lot of things. I’m good for the occasional video gaming session, I don’t get easily offended by lowbrow humor & sexual innuendo (as long as it’s not directed at me) that inevitably occur in male dominated conversations. When a game is on, I don’t get in the way and I may even furnish snacks. But asking me to actually watch it? And care about who wins? Perish the thought! I don’t expect my boyfriend to understand my obsession with shows on the Bravo channel, so I think we’re even.

 

Countdown

I’m finally moved into my apartment. Everything went smoothly; there are no maintenance issues I need to get resolve. Since I have the basement apartment, the place stays at a pleasant 75 all day! I only have to turn the air on if I’m cooking or doing one of my workout DVD. My landlady also installed a dehumidifier, so there’s no mildew or funky smell.

My mom and sister brought me  down on Friday and we spent about 8 hours straightening up and running errands. I spent way more money than I wanted to or thought I would, but there are a whole lot of extras you need when you can’t bum off share with roommates. Like: a toaster, broom & mop, a roasting pan, a 2 month supply of toilet paper, first aid kit supplies, etc. All this along with a month’s supply of groceries and 2 months worth of kitchen staples (rice, noodles, canned goods). Why the binge? I really want to be able to focus on getting adjusted to law school for the first few weeks. Also I don’t have a car, so until I make some friends I’ll be taking the bus and hoofing it. So I wanted to have enough things on hand that when I do have to go shopping, I won’t have to carry 50lbs of groceries.

It’s very quiet in here but I like it. I was a little jumpy the first night–this is an old house and I have to get used to the settling noises. But the area is safe and I’ve had plenty to keep me occupied between setting up the apartment and exploring the neighborhood. Speaking of which, I came across two parks within 3 blocks of my place. [I meant to insert pics but they were taken on my phone which is acting stupid right now.]

The first park is smallish but very zen; it’s no surprise that they hold a lot of weddings there. There are winding streams, stone staircases and a reflecting pool. It looks like a great place to unwind and escape the law school madness. The second park is bigger with a lot of open space, perfect for outdoor walks. Since I live in the basement, I only have 2 windows that get sunlight. Even though Tex jokingly calls me a vampire (I don’t like waking up to sunshine in my face!), I do like a daily dose of sunshine. So the lack of it in my apartment will do a lot to help me commit to walking regularly.

That’s it for now…lots more to come this week because orientation starts tomorrow!

 

A blog about nothing*

Sorry about the long absence. I was in Chicago last week (and we drove all 14 hours…gah!) and I just started moving into my apartment today. But I thought it would be fun to copycat Law School Ninja in honor of the blogaversary that I completely ignored last month.

Top 5 Referrers

Katie Luper
Legal Underground
Keep It Trill
I Don’t Wear Skinny Jeans
Dennis Jansen

Honorable mention goes to Google Reader. Thanks for the links & comments you guys!

Top 5 Posts (not counting the home page)

Eh, what’s the point?: Senioritis-induced ennui at its finest.
The Tyler Perry Question: In which I don’t believe the hype about how Mr. Perry is ruining black cinema.
How do you choose a law school?: Part of a series on how I got to law school.
Dress for Success: Does law school have a dress code? Cuz I’m not ready to turn in my Chucks yet.
My Life Story: Shameless self-indulgence in which I cast the actors for my autobiographical Lifetime movie.

My Favorite Search Terms

Jason’s Lyric: I mentioned this movie in ONE post as a total aside (it was a caption on a picture that’s not even up there anymore) and it’s haunted me ever since. This consistently tops my search term results and I don’t know why!

friend zone ultimatum: Don’t be whored out emotionally, my friends.

number of people you’ve had sex with chart/std risk chart: Glad that I’m educating the people! The More You Know (c) NBC

senioritis: Yeahhh last year was pretty bad in terms of motivation…

Naturi Naughton: What? Oh yeah, I did cast her as Maya in the “My Life Story” post…

The lack of any weird/creepy search terms reassures me that I’m doing  a pretty good job of keeping things PG around here. Googlenymity only goes so far, so I try to keep it clean for the kids. LOL!

*Anybody catch the Seinfeld reference? I’m listening to Wale’s Mixtape About Nothing that’s got a pretty hilarious intro from Julia Louis-Dreyfuss aka Elaine…lol.

 

Random bits

Blah. May and June creeped on forever and now July is going by waaay too fast. Only 4 weeks until orientation and 5 until classes start? Frick.

I’ve also been informed that the accumulated trappings of my life from age 14 to 22* have to be pared down to whatever I can take to my apartment, and what dad’s willing to store in his basement. That’ll be 3 boxes at most. I’m the only person who makes use of the basement, yet he & my stepmom in their OCD clean obsession insist on treating it like living space instead of storage space. Isn’t that what basements are for? You’d think that the Better Homes & Gardens folks were gonna show up any day now. Anyway, the storage space is only about 8 x 5 ft but I have tons of books and papers to go through. NOT the way I wanted to spend my last few weeks of freedom. Uggghhhh  >_<

Finally, a mildly amusing anecdote: Monday I hit the post-holiday sales with my mom. I needed a pair of black, interview-appropriate heels that didn’t immediately hurt my feet. I didn’t intend to buy anything else but you know how it is…while I was trailing along behind her I stumbled upon a brown blazer that didn’t make me look like a linebacker. I even found the matching skirt and pants so I ended up bagging a 3 piece suit that will be good for work or an interview for under $50. I was super geeked until I realized that I’d just gotten excited over shopping for professional wear. Irrevocable step to adulthood? Check! (But I’m still fiending for a hot new pair of Adidas.)

*I’ve been spending the better part of the last decade shuttling between my mom’s house, my dad’s house and college so a little more forewarning would’ve been appreciated.

 

The Tyler Perry Question

I am (give or take 5 weeks) a college graduate. I am pursuing a graduate degree. I am an independent, successful black woman and yet, Tyler Perry doesn’t make me feel any certain way.

More often than not, I find Tyler Perry’s work hilarious. I enjoy seeing a movie with a cast full of black folks who have a spectrum of skin complexions and body types, and who don’t get by selling drugs or tricking the welfare office. I like seeing us in suits and dresses instead of wifebeaters and booty shorts. I like seeing black folks who can speak proper English and say “big” words without being made to seem inauthentic because of it.

Shoot, I’m happy to see some black humor portrayed on screen every once in a while–I refuse to see Precious because it looks damned depressing. I find his movies a decent alternative to the Magic Negro/Tragic Negro/Good-Natured Black Sidekick that we’re normally relegated to in white films. When Morgan Freeman got cast as God in Bruce Almighty I wanted to stand up and clap in the theater. How often do you get to see a black person cast as a character who is all powerful? Not everyday, I tell ya!

It’s true that the drama goes over the top and that the characters can be one-dimensional in order to further the plotline. But how is that different from any other movies? How many movies that come out anymore are works of art? Mainstream movies are entertainment, and they exist to make money, period.White people have been making movies about themselves that range from the controversial (Brokeback Mountain) to the touching (Forrest Gump) to the downright foolish (Pineapple Express) and it’s never a big deal. White folks aren’t up in arms at Judd Apatow for making them look bad, so why are we bashing Tyler Perry? If you don’t like the movies, just don’t see them and sit down, please.

Tex made the insightful observation that white folks who haven’t been around black people look at what’s in movies and on televisions and assume we act exactly like that. But you know what? ANYBODY who lives their life strictly based on something they saw in the entertainment media, without ever questioning it, is STUPID. And I’m tired of having to make allowances for stupid people! If Spike Lee, John Singleton, Oprah, Denzel Washington, Cicely Tyson, Don Cheadle and their ilk haven’t convinced white folks that we are just as capable of being noble, sensitive, intelligent, self-sacrificing and introspective as white folks, then Tyler Perry isn’t going to hurt our community one bit.

Now, on to accusations against the man himself. It has been said that Perry is colorstruck–dark skinned black men are bad, light skinned black women are all saditty, professional black women don’t know how to treat a man, he disfranchises older black actresses by donning a dress and wig instead of allowing them to portray the “Madea” role, etc. I think it’s all bunk.  especially the colorstruck accusations–I’ve seen every one of his movies (and most of the plays) and there is no pattern of colorism that I can detect. Sure, the golden-hued Shemar Moore and Boris Kodjoe played the knight in shining armor in two Perry films–but that’s because, in terms of the hotness factor, they’re the Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise of Black Hollywood. But the chocolatey Morris Chestnut and Idris Elba played the same role in two other Perry films, so the scales are balanced. (The nerd in me really wants to make a spreadsheet right now but that’s time better put towards my research paper, I think.) As for the saditty and professional black women, Perry is simply bringing up issues that we talk about all the time. Many, if not most of us, know that pretty chick who thinks her beauty is an excuse to act stank. Pick up an issue of Essence or Ebony and you’ll see articles on achieving work-life balance, and editorials encouraging us to “let a man be a man”. Yet all of a sudden Perry is a misogynist for reflecting these sentiments in his films? He’s simply doing the smart thing and writing about what resonates and causes controversy with his audience. Finally, as for the excessive comedy and melodrama–would you pay to see 2 hours of well dressed folks having polite conversation about the weather?….didn’t think so.

My conclusion: Sometimes, a movie is just a movie. But if you feel differently, lemme hear it!

 

My Life Story

When I was a senior taking AP Literature, one of our many assignments after reading Their Eyes Were Watching God was to write up a proposal as if we were a movie director and pick the cast for our film adaptation of the book. That was probably the most fun thing I got to do, as the other assignments consisted of an art project (which she all had us redo because our pictures were too elementary), a 10 page analysis and other such things that bored me to death (the fact that I hated the book didn’t help, but that’s a story for another day).

Anyway, in the spirit of winter break fun I’ve combined that exercise along with the email/MySpace/Facebook chain note in which you come up with a soundtrack for your life. Enjoy! Side note: Casting is based on ability to act like my family members, not looks.

Cast:

Brownbelle- Gabrielle Union, of course. She’s cute and like myself, she can go from girl-next-door sweet to siditty nightmare if you push her. It doesn’t hurt that we both have the same complexion and megawatt smiles

Tex- Kadeem Hardison is handsome with a slightly goofy smile, just like my love (it’s so adorable though!), but can be very serious and dignified as well.

Mom- Lynn Whitfield. She’s old school and classy, just like my mother. She’s also very expressive and dramatic…also like my mother!

Dad- Chi McBride. Booming voice? Check. Authoritative, at times overbearing attitude? Check. Roaring laugh? Check. I think he’s got this one in the bag.

Sissy- Anika Noni Rose. This was a hard one. She’s got the same cheeriness and energy as my sister, and can walks the line between sweet and sexy with grace and dignity.

Skeletor- Duane Martin looks nothing like my brother, but he has the appropriate demeanor. Genial when he wants to be, but also sarcastic and prone to joking around just to give you a hard time.

Charles Marrero- Marshall Mathers, bka Eminem. Because Charles has “swag” (lmao).

Ice- Morris Chestnut. Ice would kill me if I was inaccurate and didn’t cast some “sexual chocolate” in his role, so here you go sir! At any rate, they’re both tall with athletic builds and have that all-American charm, so it works.

Maya- Naturi Naughton. Shoot, if she can play Lil Kim then she can play Maya, no problem (lol)!

Sunny- Regina King is great at portraying the down to earth, optimistic girl next door that Sunny is.

Porsche- Sanaa Lathan would capture her attitude and mannerisms perfectly, I think.

HWSRN- Mel Jackson, because he can do bourgie and arrogant oh so well.

So here’s the soundtrack, assuming this is a romantic comedy:

Opening Credits:

Waking Up Scene: Good Morning- John Legend

Getting Ready Scene: So Fly- Slim of 112

Car Driving Scene: Shine Blockas- Big Boi ft. Gucci Mane

High School Flashback Scene: Do It To It- Cherish

Nostalgic Scene: Seasons Change- Jagged Edge ft. John Legend

Angry Scene: What’s Beef- Trina

Agony, Painful Scene: Anxiety- Black Eyed Peas

Break-up Scene: Energy- Keri Hilson

Sad, Breakdown Scene: Cry Together- Prophet Jones

Nightclub/Dance Scene: Say Aah- Trey Songz

Buddy/Sidekick Scene: Get Me Bodied- Beyonce

Dreaming of Someone Scene: Butterflies- Floetry

Contemplation Scene: Apple Tree- Erykah Badu

Love Scene: Bliss- Mariah Carey

Kissing Scene: Love of My Own- Eric Benet

Relaxing Scene: Ascension (Don’t Ever Wonder)- Maxwell

Action/Fight/Confrontation Scene: She Ain’t Got S*** On Me- Letoya Luckett

Victory Scene: Number One- Pharrell ft. Kanye West

Closing Credits: Thank You- Jay-Z

 

The Parable of the Talents

I sometimes wonder why some people get so jealous of others. Having been the target of envy for much of my childhood, it just puzzled me. Sure, I could finish my assignments in half the time as everybody else and get straight A’s, and yes, I could sing and play viola well and even dabbled in piano. But so what? When I was younger, I would have given anything to be like Sissy, Skeletor and my dad. They have magnetic personalities and almost everyone instantly likes them. They’re the type of people who never meet a stranger and can strike up a conversation with anyone. For me, meeting new people is a trial. It’s tiring, nerve wracking, and I’m always profoundly relieved when the conversation is over and I’ve managed to come off as somewhat normal. Sissy is also good at art. Anything crafty or creative comes naturally to her, just like it does to my mom. Maya is great at doing hair and sewing, which can both be immediately  lucrative wherever you are (unlike merely being good at school, like I am). My stepmom can duplicate almost any recipe just by tasting it; she’s an absolute wizard in the kitchen!

My friend Ice played football in high school; he discovered that it was too time consuming for him to pursue in college even though he made the team. Athletics have never been my strong suit. I was pretty good at volleyball but had to give it up due to a minor disability (I have radioulnar synostosis, which means that a bone in one of my wrists is missing so it only turns halfway. Bumping and serving the ball became a problem as I left puberty and my bones became less pliable. Don’t worry, it’s not as gory as it sounds!) I know plenty of people who are much more musically gifted than I am. While I’m a very good writer, fiction does not come naturally to me. Maybe it’s just that I’m out of practice but at any rate, it’s something I’d like to improve at. I had another friend in high school who spoke Spanish like a native even though she’d never stepped foot in any Spanish speaking country. We took the same Spanish classes all four years of high school and although our grades were nearly identical, she was clearly more gifted at languages than I was. Math is something I’ve always struggled with when it comes to anything past basic algebra; it just doesn’t always make sense to me. I’m proud of just being able to calculate percentages in my head, even though I’m not super quick at it. Dancing is another skill I don’t possess in great amounts. I have rhythm enough not to look stupid on the dance floor, but I’m no Janet Jackson! I can learn choreography alright, but I can’t just look at a routine and then duplicate it on the spot.

I don’t say all this to point out my deficiencies or to seem ungrateful for what I’ve been blessed with. My point is merely that everyone has different talents, and we tend to most value the ones that we lack. So the next time you find yourself envying someone, think about the talents you possess and you’ll no doubt find that you’re gifted, indeed.

I won’t be posting again until next week, so Merry Christmas!