Consorting With the Enemy: Friends & Exes

Is it ever okay to date a friend’s ex-significant other? I don’t ever recommend it. It just opens a can of worms and you could end up having to choose sides between your best friend and your S.O. But just because your friend dated someone once upon a time doesn’t mean they can claim them forever, and so there are certain situations in which you would not be wrong for not limiting your options. Lucky for you, I’ve come up with a brief but comprehensive list of guidelines for setting foot in this unstable territory.

The Ex Statute of Limitations
***No matter how long it’s been, ALWAYS ASK PERMISSION!***

a. For boyfriends/girlfriends
1) Any claims on an ex in high school only counts for people who were your friends in high school. Expires one year from date of relationship termination. It wasn’t that serious anyway!

2) For college and beyond, it depends on the length of the relationships. For a dating period of 0-12 months, your friends must wait at least 3 times the length of the relationship before asking permission to talk to your ex [i.e. a 6 month relationship = 18 month hands off period]. For a dating period of 1-3 yrs, your friends must wait at least 2 times the length of the relationship. For a dating period of 3 yrs+, your friends must wait at least the length of the relationship.

b. For fiances/spouses
1) Anyone you were engaged to is off limits to all of your friends for 1.5 times the length of the relationship OR 5 years, whichever is longer. But if your friend left their betrothed for someone else, all bets are off since they clearly didn’t want them anyway.
2) Anyone who you are/were married to is off limits to friends and associates until the time of your death. Period. ESPECIALLY if you have kids. Sorry, but that’s just grimy.

Questions? Addendums? Stories? Hit me up!